An Interesting Point of View

Do you have a person in your life that you tend to get into arguments with?  Imagine changing your approach to that person by agreeing with them.  Arguments lose their energy in the face of agreement.  Now, you may not be able to honestly agree with some statement or belief.  One approach is to respondContinue reading “An Interesting Point of View”

Connecting with Empathy

I wrote earlier about my telephone conversation with my friend Steve, and how I thought he got upset and hung up on me. So I went through this process of NVC with Steve, observed my Feelings and Needs and made the Request, “What are you feeling?” And Steve tells me, “Dude, look, it’s not aboutContinue reading “Connecting with Empathy”

Requests versus Needs

It becomes quite helpful in all relationships to understand the difference between a Request and a Demand. And it becomes even more important in our relationships. Harmony comes about making Requests of people rather than Demands.  We learned earlier, when you make a Demand, you are only going to get resentment or rebellion.  My Dad didn’tContinue reading “Requests versus Needs”

Relationships and Needs

A 15-year-old boy robs a liquor store at gunpoint. That’s the boy’s behavior. What’s his need?  It can’t be for alcohol, because alcohol is not a universal need.  “For the rush?”    Maybe.  It could be that; you know, excitement. But what I might guess, for a 15-year-old boy, is Acceptance. He wants to be seen as cool by hisContinue reading “Relationships and Needs”

Mindful Being vs. Mindful Doing

Mindful meditation, or Mindful Being, is an inner process, where our attention is directed inward.Mindful Doing is more active.  It is the doing of something, some one thing, with our full attention. In Mindful Doing we focus our 5 senses on the one task and pay attention to each moment, to each change. Mindful eatingContinue reading “Mindful Being vs. Mindful Doing”

Trauma Treatments

Addressing Trauma Successfully[1] Over the years of therapy, I have studied most of the trauma therapy tools that have had success.  All of these listed below are effective and worthy of investigation.  The bottom line is to find one that suits you.  One cautionary note is to get experienced, professional help.  Some would learn aContinue reading “Trauma Treatments”

Creating a life worth living.

Beyond Stress  — Contentment is your birthright.  What’s more, its within your reach at any moment and at every moment.  The key to contentment is a simple concept, but can require a lifetime of practice.  The concept — Radical Acceptance….“It is What it is.” Say What?  Life can be divided into 4 elements:  People, Places,Continue reading “Creating a life worth living.”